Labelling children – The Hindu

Every day, children surprise us with their new abilities. So it is impossible to judge and tag them based on the current picture.
| Photo Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

“My child is a kind girl.” “She is arrogant, he is patient but shy.” “He is bad at maths.” Parents often label children, but if the youngsters frequently hear it, they will become timid and even go on to develop an unhealthy perception about themselves. Its impact will be felt even later in life.

Even some positive labelling has its downside. Consider the child who is labelled the “responsible” one. The child may become guarded in taking risks or being playful, fearing that he will lose that tag. A child may be labelled as “patient”, but she cannot remain so always. In this way, children come under pressure.

The real fact is that children are growing, developing and constantly changing. They show different behaviour depending on the situation. Every day, they surprise us with their new abilities. So it is impossible to judge and tag them based on the current picture. Children can’t navigate labels.

When a child has been labelled, it becomes part of his or her identity and creates a boundary limiting them from giving full expression to their potential. A child who is introverted at home may behave courageously or even outspoken at school or a child who is bad at maths may develop an interest in it later in life. 

Children have a wide range of interests. Let us allow them to explore all sorts of careers and hobbies before deciding their interests over time. Not only do labels affect children, they also cause damage to the parent-child relationship as over time, parents begin to see their child according to that label. Labelling children shape not only their personality but also the relationship with parents well beyond the childhood years.

So comment on your children descriptively. Instead of saying “You are shy” or “Don’t be shy,” try statements such as “You talk with people you know well.” It makes a huge difference in your child’s self-belief. 

We ought to be open to accepting our children’s flaws and support them without judging. Allow them space for their change and growth.

[email protected]