In a rapidly evolving India, where career ambition and personal freedom are often prioritised, the emotional fragility of relationships has become a silent crisis.
A college undergraduate fell in love with his senior. Their bond was strong, emotionally, physically, and intellectually. They dreamed of a shared future and had decided to inform their families once he graduated and secured a good job or business. But one day, she stopped responding to his calls. She eventually blocked him on all platforms. Confused and heartbroken, he reached out to a mutual friend and discovered that she had recently married someone her parents had chosen. Devastated, he left town and swore never to marry.
A modest schoolteacher had a simple and sincere marriage in 2024. Both families contributed equally to a decent ceremony. However, only a few months later, his wife sought separation and alimony. Her reasons: his limited income, quiet lifestyle, and constant comparisons with a childhood friend who had moved abroad and now lived a lavish life. He loved her, and still hopes for reconciliation. But for his wife, self-worth and future ambitions have taken precedence.
These narratives may sound like fiction, but they are the lived realities of many in today’s India. Relationships, once rooted in sacrifice, patience, and shared dreams, are increasingly transactional — dependent on income, appearance, and social status.
Teenagers are especially vulnerable. Fuelled by hormonal changes and a flood of adult content on social media, they often enter into relationships even when their minds and souls are not ready for them. For some, love becomes a passing interest; for others, it becomes an intense emotional dependence. When such a bond breaks, one person might move on, while the other remains emotionally scarred — sometimes for years.
But heartbreak isn’t limited to the young. Adults in their thirties and forties — supposedly mature and ready for commitment — are also seeing their marriages unravel. The reasons are manifold: rising personal expectations, financial pressures, emotional incompatibility, unresolved traumas, and an unrelenting desire for “better”. Marriage today is often judged by how well one partner can fulfill the other’s emotional, physical, and economic needs. If they fall short, the solution appears to be separation rather than understanding.
This shift has led to a sharp rise in divorces, extra-marital affairs, and a preference for live-in relationships that promise intimacy without long-term responsibility. In more extreme cases, failed relationships lead to false accusations or even violent crimes.
Many checklists
Where older generations viewed marriage as a sacred, lifelong bond requiring commitment and compromise, today’s relationships are often filtered through checklists: how much does my partner earn? What kind of lifestyle can they afford? Do they meet my ever-evolving expectations? And if not, should I leave before it’s too late?
Gender expectations continue to reinforce these unhealthy trends. A man who is average in looks is expected to earn several times more than his partner. A woman is expected to be beautiful, skilled in domestic duties, and, if working, ready to sacrifice her career when family responsibilities arise. These social biases create unrealistic standards that strain even well-meaning relationships.
And amid all this, children suffer the most. Imagine a child’s plight when one parent suddenly disappears from life. How will they process that loss? What version of love and commitment will they grow up believing in?
When we make choices based solely on self-interest, we risk destabilising not just individual lives but the very foundation of family and community. Sustainable relationships require emotional maturity, patience, and the courage to face difficulties together — not escape at the first sign of discomfort.
Yes, professional growth and financial stability are important. But life is a multi-phase journey — from childhood to youth, to marriage and parenting, and ultimately toward wisdom and reflection. No achievement, no matter how grand, is immune to change. Tragedies such as the recent Ahmedabad flight crash remind us how fragile life truly is.
In our quest for progress, we must not lose sight of compassion and connection. Relationships are not just about what we get, but about what we give. Before breaking a bond, we must pause and ask ourselves: are we acting out of frustration or from a place of wisdom? Are we choosing momentary relief over lifelong fulfilment?
Let us rethink the way we approach love and marriage in India — not as contracts based on terms and conditions, but as partnerships built on empathy, shared values, and mutual growth.
Think before you break something precious. It may never be whole again.
Published – July 27, 2025 03:20 am IST