Lots in a name – The Hindu

Elon Musk and wife Grimes named their son X Æ A-12. It threw precedence to the winds, stood out from the clutter, and told public opinion where it got off. In short, it’s very Elon Muskish! You would think the Musks made their choice in a rush of whimsy and cared a hoot about the consequences. Actually, they cared greatly. Weeks after the naming, they rang in a change, opting instead for X Æ A-XII (as if that helps!).

In India, parents are a lot more mainstream. When it comes to naming their offspring, they are aware of the long-term implications of their act. They are not seeking to drive a personal agenda or stamp their individuality on the little one. They are also solicitous about what happens later. Will other children make fun of their child in school? Often, you do not go solo with so important a matter. Grandparents, uncles, aunts and assorted denizens across the family tree need to have their say. As does the zodiac, the season of birth, and phonetics. Traditionally in India, it’s felt that boys are better off with names of four syllables and girls of three.

Of late, however, some parents have begun to think out of the box — in fact, so far out of the box that they are in a bracket by themselves. No longer content with any Tara, Dilip or Hari, parents have come up with uncommon proposals, many ending with the raging hot favourite “aan“. The choice is wide: Vivaan, Kiaan, Ziaan, Rihaan, Hridhaan, Nirvaan…

You will probably be shaking your heads in bewilderment — shouldn’t the names mean something? Actually, they all do — only, you need a Ph.D. in Sanskrit to understand the cosmic significance couched within the consonants.

Sanskrit, Swahili or slang, there is a lot riding on the choice you make. Names are so tightly woven into our sense of self that you are virtually bequeathing character and destiny to the little one. A study published in an American journal of psychology found that people with easily pronounceable names were more likely to receive job offers than those with names less easy on the tongue. It makes sense — unless, of course, the interviewers themselves have odd names. In that case, they will gladly reach out to a kindred soul.

Blaming the name

Years later, when you are in an introspective mood and if life has not quite panned out the way you expect, you generally conduct a self-audit. Is there something wrong with your face or your race, your address or the way you dress? After these usual suspects, the needle eventually points to your name. It is seductive to imagine that we would have had a different future if we had a different name. But effecting a change so late in the day involves a lot of bother. You then hit upon a via media — the old name tweaked with value additions. Experts in the game assure you that an extra ‘a’ or omitting an ‘e’ can tilt the balance decisively in your favour. It’s a con trick you play on the universe, but it is still better than doing nothing.

Even if you are not unhappy with how life has treated you thus far, you could still dislike your name — and with good reason. It’s as old as you are and obviously nowhere near being trendy. Worse still, you were not consulted during the short-listing. In fairness then, I propose that naming ceremonies around the world be held in abeyance until children are old enough to know what they really like. But what about those young men and women today going around with pre-selected names? Perhaps, it is worthwhile carrying out a spot survey of those who bear unusual names to find out how they feel about their parent’s weird preferences. Honestly, what do you feel, Exa Dark Sidereal? That is not the Musks’ favourite flavour of ice cream or type of coffee. That’s their daughter’s name.

[email protected]