Travails of a guest at a big, fat wedding

The couple often takes time to emerge from their preparations, leading to that inevitable feeling of awkwardness as guests stand around, waiting. 
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As a Chennaiite who has been to numerous weddings, I can’t help but notice the stark difference in the celebration now and back then. In my childhood, weddings were intimate affairs, the focus being on the ceremony and the joy of the union rather than on extravagant display of wealth and grandeur that is seen now.

This shift reflects not only changing tastes but also the evolving societal pressures that accompany such celebrations.

For those of us navigating the urban landscape of Chennai, attending weddings has become an adventure fraught with challenges, starting with the commute.

Traffic nightmare

With many weddings taking place on any auspicious muhurtham day, the city’s traffic turns into a maze with impatient drivers touching off traffic jams and a cacophony of horns.

Despite my best efforts to plan ahead and arrive early, I frequently find myself stuck in traffic for longer than the time I spend at the wedding itself. The journey feels like a test of patience.

The preparation involves the dreaded task of choosing what to wear. For many, this is a time-consuming affair involving mental gymnastics through their wardrobe.

“This sari isn’t new, I wore it last season,” and “Is this designer blouse still in vogue?” are common thoughts. The struggle leads many to the shops, hoping for something that feels fresh and exciting — another chore or is it an excuse, amid the whirlwind of wedding preparations?

Selecting a gift is another area fraught with anxiety. What do you give the couple that has everything? After debating various options, the task often gets pushed to the last minute, leading to hurried decisions in stores. By the time I am en route to greeting the couple on stage, I am frantically attempting to pen down my heartfelt wishes, hoping to find a suitable envelope and a “working pen” to borrow while navigating the long queues.

Greeting lines

Upon arrival, the anticipation transitions to the reality of greeting lines. The couple often takes time to emerge, leading to that inevitable feeling of awkwardness as guests stand around, waiting. Once the greetings are done, the loud music drowns out any attempt at personal conversation with friends or relatives and before I know it, it’s time to strike a pose for group photos that will inevitably end up all over social media. Every time you feel that whoever posted them could have been kinder to you in choosing the frames.

Finally, the dining experience is a mixed bag of joy and guilt. I often feel fortunate to snag a seat before the tables fill up, and if the food is both tasty and healthy, it’s a double win. However, there is always that nagging feeling post-meal about whether I overindulged or failed to finish what was on my plate, contributing to the guilt of food waste.

Reflecting on this, I can’t help but reminisce about the simplicity of weddings from our childhood. Back then, the joy of connection and the sacredness of togetherness overshadowed the burdensome pressures of societal expectations. While today’s weddings may be grander, they are often accompanied by challenges that can turn what should be a joyous occasion into a stressful event.

Back to basics

Weddings, while still celebrations of love, require just as much effort from guests as they do from the hosts. Here’s to hoping that amid the chaos and grandeur, the essence of love and unity remains the focus, making the travails of attending weddings a little lighter and more enjoyable.